Book Series: Byrnehouse-Davies & Hamilton Saga
Publishing Date: 1994
Author: Anita Stansfield
Publisher: Covenant Communications, Inc.
Category: LDS Contemporaray Romance
Point of View: Third Person, limited, Emily and Michael
Chapter Count: 16
Page Count: 235
Point of View: Third Person, limited, Emily and Michael
Chapter Count: 16
Page Count: 235
This book is dedicated
to my Father in Heaven. It is He who gave me this gift and an endless string of
miracles to make it possible to give to you, the reader
And to the memory of
Ellen Strate Cox. Thank you for believing. You are a true friend-forever.
Chapter 1- Meet Emily Hall; a meek, introverted, Mormon housewife with wavy ash-blonde hair, blue eyes and petite frame. She is unhappy in her marriage to Ryan Hall who is always working. He enters but barely acknowledges her, a depressing factor that has crept into their nearly ten year marriage. Emily declares it's her turn to get out and leaves for University Mall which is located in Provo, Utah.
Inside, she browses music stores, book stores (this mall has two and, yes, you are that old) and clothing boutiques until, following a prompting, she returns to the bookstore and learns her college sweetheart, the man she almost married, has realized his dream of becoming a famous, best-selling author and is coming soon for a book signing. Emily impulsively buys his latest hardback, Verity, (cost: $15.95) and leaves knowing she will be back.
Emily sits in the car. Hours pass as she recalls the first time she ever saw Jess Michael Hamilton from Queensland Australia at her BYU, Book of Mormon class at the beginning of fall semester.
Brown wavy hair, hazel eyes, six feet tall with a sexy Australian accent to rival Chris Hemsworth, Emily remembers her tingle of attraction hearing that voice in class commenting on The Psalm of Nephi. She speaks to him after class, he asks her out, which leads to seven months of serious dating and courtship. Everything falls into place. Except for one little, minor problem: Michael is not a member of the church and has no interest in joining. Yet, he shares the same standards and principles she does and they remain chaste even when he takes her to Australia to meet his independently wealthy family who are also not members of the church but good Christian people who use their money to help others. Michael can't understand why Emily Ladd won't accept him for who he is, without this religion issue always getting in the way.
Emily returns to Idaho for a quick visit with her own family, torn between Michael's recent marriage proposal and an old friend and return missionary, Ryan Hall, who also expresses interest in marrying Emily. Worthy priesthood holder who can take her to the temple trumps all of Michael's other good qualities. After much fasting, prayer and general agonizing, Emily marries Ryan and breaks Michael's heart. Now she is trapped in a loveless marriage with an inactive husband who, other than providing an income, neglects his family. Maybe refusing Michael all those years ago was a mistake...
Chapter 2- Emily and Ryan have three girls: Alexa, seven months, Amee, who will turn two in three months and nine-year old Allison who is sent off to school.
Ryan brushes off Emily's suggestion they spend time together this weekend as a family, he's getting together with the guys to watch the game this Saturday, remember? He leaves for work and after the two babies have been put down for naps, Emily's best friend, next door neighbor and fellow Mormon housewife, Penny, lets herself in. She finds Emily in front of the open cedar chest, college memorabilia spread all over the living room floor, including a copy of Michael's very first publication, Crazy's Day, personally signed, "To my first love, forever." That was three years ago and Emily never even bothered to read the book. Penny is updated on yesterday's event and is appalled Emily is considering not going to the signing. She insists Emily go so she can reconnect with her old college boyfriend, put the past behind her once and for all. Penny is happy to babysit.
After praying and pondering, Emily wakes up Thursday morning, the day of the signing, and calls Penny. Emily's own parents passed away a few years ago, all siblings live too far away and Penny's children are all in school so she is happy to fill in as Emily's number one supporter.
Emily bathes and picks out a pink blouse, black skirt and classic black riding boots Michael bought her in Australia after teaching her to ride. Penny shoos her out the door, insisting Emily take as much time as she needs, all day if necessary.
At the mall, Emily spots Michael, in the flesh, signing books for his fans and bolts, overcome with nerves. After wandering around, she works up the courage to return and it takes three attempts to stay in the queue until she is the only remaining person. Without looking up, Michael takes her book, inquiring to whom she would like this dedicated? "To my first love, forever," Emily whispers. Dramatic beat as Michael's head shoots up and he's overjoyed to see Emily.
Time stops as their eyes meet and he embraces her. More fans are now waiting so Michael makes Emily promise to meet him again so they can catch up. Emily suggests tomorrow, here at the mall, same time, same place. It's a date.
Chapter 3- Once again, Emily sits in the car for hours freaking out over the realization, not to mention the inappropriateness, that she is a married woman who just agreed to meet her ex-boyfriend behind her hubby's back (ashleymadison.com is still TEN YEARS away!). She opens her new book and reads Michael's latest inscription, "To my first love and my last..." relishing this feeling of being cherished because Ryan never does anything like this anymore.
After running a few errands, Emily returns and reports to Penny who is ecstatic to learn Emily agreed to this meeting. She is especially happy for Emily that Michael appears to be unmarried and available. Now Emily can divorce Ryan and live happily ever after. She'll come over and babysit tomorrow and breezes out the door while Emily just stares, open-mouthed at her friend's blasé support of adultery.
Allison returns from school and Ryan comes home from work where, once again, the mail is greeted before the wife. He frowns at hot dogs for dinner and only listens with half an ear as Emily repeats a very watered down version of what she did today while Penny babysat. Ryan is more concerned that Emily wrote a check to pay for her frivolous purchase, if Emily is going to be a high-maintenance wife she should get a job, than the fact that she ran into her ex at the mall. Ryan's remark about Emily getting a job cuts her deeply.
That night, after the house is settled down and kids are asleep, Ryan tries to snuggle in bed while Emily is reading her book. He reads the romantic inscription, grunts, and rolls over to go to sleep. Feeling very depressed, Emily turns out the light and gets down on her knees for a lengthy silent prayer.
Next morning is chaos with little time to shower and get herself ready, Emily throws on the same outfit, different blouse, from yesterday and is hurried out the door by Penny who, again, insists Emily take as much time as she needs.
Michael is also running late when Emily, out of breath, arrives at the mall bookstore. They begin walking and talking. No he's not married and not in a relationship at the moment. Emily Ladd is just as beautiful as she was ten years ago and Michael has questions he wants to ask her.
Chapter 4- Emily shows off wallets of her girls which she always carries in her purse. She mentions Penny, but falters when Michael brings up her relationship with her husband. The subject is changed to Michael's carefree, bachelor life. He envies her life, knowing a man at his age should be married with kids and settled down by now but since he's never met anyone to equal Emily, he stays busy traveling and running his family's ranch in the outback. Michael insists on taking Emily out to lunch (this mall has a JB's restaurant which is no longer there) and while they wait for their food, Michael asks Emily, point-blank, if she's happy? To his surprise, Emily bursts into tears and tells him everything. Michael is furious to learn that Ryan is a jerk who doesn't appreciate what a jewel he caught for a wife. If she'd married HIM...Emily sobs and sobs, beating herself up. Michael asks for the check and they leave their untouched meal. Outside, Michael desperately wants to take Emily in his arms but, as another man's wife, it is forbidden. So this is temple marriage. Was it worth it? For the first time, Emily turns off the tears and looks Michael straight in the eye. However dysfunctional, God approves of her marriage; it's helped her to grow. She's grateful to be a slave and a doormat, submitting herself cheerfully to such an emotionally abusive and unavailable man because she knows she'll be blessed for it (Kate Kelly begs to differ). Michael can only admire her modesty and strong, albeit sweet, spirit. What a woman!
Chapter 5- Michael asks for her address. Emily rips a deposit slip from the back of her checkbook to write on. Not wanting to part on such a depressing note, Michael suggests they wander around the mall. The next few hours fly by as they talk and laugh, window shopping and eating junk food. Michael wipes a smear of chocolate off Emily's mouth igniting strong feelings of their old attraction to each other.
Narration shifts to Michael's POV and he decides to try an experiment determining just how controlling her husband is and how starved she is for attention. Emily admires a pretty sweater but insists she doesn't really need (or deserve) it so Michael buys it for her. Miffed at his generosity, Emily walks away feeling like a charity case. Ryan provides, they have sufficient for their needs, he just won't let her spend any of his hard earned on herself. A sacrifice she's willing to make. Michael tells her she's worth more than all the million-dollar ranches in the world. Emily nearly cries at the compliment.
Michael and Emily manage to share a nice dinner together (which Michael also pays for) without any drama; making up for the disaster of lunch. Outside, Michael turns to Emily with a rather rash, preposterous, idea: Emily should bring the girls and run away with him, he'll take care of them all. Ryan'll get the idea in a week or two. But Emily wouldn't dream of breaking sacred temple covenants. Not to mention shaming the family with a divorce. Michael urges her to fast and pray about it. He'll return from his USA book tour in a few weeks for her answer.
He walks her to her car and inquires about her hobby of painting with oils which Emily confesses she regrets setting aside for the demands of family life. Since he took a cab to get to the mall this morning, Emily offers to drive him to his hotel. Michael comments on the fictional Australian rock band they both loved in college which Emily is currentlystreaming listening to on the car cassette player. Overwhelmed by the disillusionment of her failed marriage, the irony of what might have been, Emily shuts off the music. Michael confesses he still loves her, respects her, admires her courage to stay with Ryan and thanks her for today. She returns the sentiment, wishing they could be more intimate with their affections.
Chapter 6- It is after midnight when Emily finally returns home. She made a detour to sit in front of the Provo temple in her car and cry. Ryan turns as she climbs into bed, demanding to know where she's been. (Oh, you noticed?) Emily makes up an excuse about running into an old friend and losing track of time. Ryan just grunts and rolls back over.
Next day is Saturday. Emily feeds and dresses her girls and sends them off to play while Ryan sleeps late, as he usually does on weekends. Emily decides togrow a pair forgo fixing a hot breakfast for this man, like she always does, and enjoy some "me" time for a change. She dismisses Ryan's whining and complaining and he leaves in a huff without any breakfast, slamming the front door behind him.
Determined not to let her husband's attitude bother her, Emily spends her day intermittently playing with her girls and reading Michael's first book, the one she should've read three years ago. Penny comes over and Emily proudly shows her the shopping bag with the sweater. She dumps it out and a rain of cash follows, the change from the $50 bill Michael used. Now she can buy groceries for her family today. A miracle. Emily breaks down crying, spilling everything to her best friend who thinks running away with Michael is a great idea, consequences of temple divorce notwithstanding.
That night, Ryan still hasn't returned from his activity with the guys. Not even a phone call. It is after midnight when his car pulls in and Emily is already in bed. He gives no explanation and Emily never asks. He wants to have sex but she turns her back on him and weeps silent tears.
Over the next few days, Emily tests Ryan by slacking off her usual household responsibilities, like not fixing breakfast, getting out her easel and paint supplies instead, leaving no time to prepare dinner. The house is a mess but Emily is realizing taking time for herself is a good thing.
Saturday arrives and she and Ryan engage in the biggest, loudest fight they've ever had in their marriage until Emily is so beaten down emotionally she finally suggests Ryan just divorce her or maybe he'll wake up one morning to find her gone, then where would he be? Expecting no answer, Emily goes straight to Penny's house to use her phone and make an appointment with her bishop tomorrow. She begins her THIRD fast since Michael asked her to run away with him. Divorce has never looked so good but until she gets a confirmation from the Lord, Emily's not going anywhere.
Emily confesses everything to her bishop who gives some excellent counsel and advice. Continue to do nice things for herself, care for her home and family's basic needs and to stop being so hard on herself so Ryan will wake up and realize what a choice eternal companion he's got. She requests a blessing and he gives her one. Emily leaves realizing the "Michael issue" was never acknowledged. Back at home, their 1pm church block start time allows Emily to shut herself in the bedroom for a lengthy prayer and time to pen a long letter of gentle rejection to Michael. She will stay with Ryan but changes are going to be made.
Chapter 7- The scene is a Las Vegas hotel room where Michael tosses and turns, unable to sleep. He recalls his first meeting with Emily and the incredible experience he had dating, courting and proposing marriage to her. Emily Ladd was, and always will be, his soul mate. Despite Emily's insistence that his non-membership status didn't matter to her, deep down, he knew, after returning from their trip to Australia, that Emily was going to reject him for a Mormon RM who could take her to the temple.
Sure enough, Emily showed up at his apartment, after her visit to Idaho, to announce, after much fasting and prayer she received her answer that marrying Ryan Hall was the right choice for her. I'm so sorry, Michael, but I'm off to plan my wedding now. Have a great life, bye!
For nearly a year, Michael spiraled down into deep, almost suicidal, depression. He returned home, unannounced, to the family ranch. His mother and younger sister demanding to know what happened. Why did he quit school? Where's Emily? Channeling Scarlett O'Hara, Michael hurls a vase and curses all Mormons and their temple marriage. Just thinking about another man sharing Emily's first time in bed is enough to make him wish he was a drinking and drug abusing man, but he's not. He can't even find himself a woman to hook up with to make Emily jealous because of his personal beliefs about pre-marital sex. He's the perfect Golden Investigator.
Spring arrives and Michael returns to America and BYU to finish his education. Ten years later, he's a successful writer, back in Provo for the first time since graduation as part of his publicity tour. All these years, the only thing that kept him going, was knowing Emily was happy in her Mormon marriage. Having Emily appear, like a vision, back in his life, was nothing short of a miracle. Until he learned the truth. Now his promotional tour is finished, he should give her a call. Maybe she's already made her decision.
Chapter 8- Emily answers the phone. Michael will be in Salt Lake on Monday. Aware of Ryan's presence in the room, Emily can't give Michael any hint as to what her answer will be but he's welcome to come by the house that morning. She hangs up and admits to Ryan that was her old college boyfriend on the phone but since Ryan doesn't ask for any details, she puts off telling him she's been seriously considering leaving him for another man.
Monday morning, Ryan leaves for work, oblivious to everything. Penny comes over to gossip and ends up being the one who answers the door to see Mr. Adorable holding a dozen red roses for Emily.
It doesn't take long for Michael to realize he's being rejected, again. Emily hands him the letter. (somebody should tell her about the social faux pas of breaking up by text) His suspicions are confirmed yet Emily is the one who is already crying. Michael rants and raves over her Mormon God who would play him like a fool. He NEVER got over her. He's still in love with her, doesn't that count for anything?
Emily realizes they need to clear the air on this issue about temple marriage. She gently suggests maybe this means it's time Michael create his LDS Singles account. Get over her, find someone else to go out with.
Michael responds by planting a great, big, passionate, kiss on her. Emily kisses him back before she sobs in the middle of it but refuses to apologize. It is her gift to him. The phone rings. It's Ryan who followed the strongest prompting he ever received in his life to call home, NOW. Emily reassures him everything is okay and, yes, they will definitely have a long talk when he gets home. She hangs up and goes back to making out with Michael. Just kidding. They share a platonic hug and apologize to each other.
Chapter 9- Penny enters the room to announce Ryan is home! Michael is taken aback, seeing Ryan Hall, in person; a handsome alpha-male with a commanding presence. No wonder Emily couldn't resist him.
Michael is very gallant, telling Ryan most of the story: he ran into Emily and asked her if she was happy. She said, no, and it's all your fault, (you a-hole!) because your wife is the most beautiful woman God ever created, yet she's chosen to stay faithful to her covenants so mind you treat her well from now on because I was going to be her knight in shining armor and carry her off into the sunset. Ryan is incredulous. Emily was really going to leave me? But...WHY? Emily tells him they'll talk later.
Emily and Michael say goodbye in front of Ryan. Emily promises to write and walks Michael out to his rental car where he kisses her hand and she kisses his cheek.
"Wow, who needs daytime TV?" Penny quips from her spot on the sofa. She makes a graceful exit so Emily and Ryan can have their first heart-to-heart in years. Ryan is a shaken man. He had no idea, until the spirit practically screamed at him to take an early lunch break and surprise Emily at home, that his marriage was in trouble; that his wife was once in love with another man.
Narration jumps to Michael's POV as he drives, aimlessly, around Provo until he passes the temple, pulls into the parking lot, succumbing to the bitterness. Three hours pass while he watches Mormons, dressed in their Sunday best, entering and exiting the sacred building. He gets out and walks around but when he returns to his car, it won't start. He enters the temple lobby to use the phone where a kindly temple worker greets him. None of the numbers he tries works. Still raw with the hurt of rejection, he goes back to his car which, almost miraculously, starts and Michael drives away, wondering if he's going crazy.
Chapter 10- Spring has sprung in Provo and life is improving for Emily who now takes time every day to paint. She openly wears the sweater Michael bought her which Ryan asks after. Emily frankly tells him where she got it. Ryan can only stare blankly at her unable to fathom what she sees in Michael Hamilton? "He makes me feel my worth," she says. Instead of getting defensive, Ryan asks Emily for deeper insight and she is happy to tell him the story of how she and Michael first met and how in love they were. Ryan admits he may have been wrong to ignore her all these years and the very next Sunday, he attends church for the first time in years. Emily almost weeps for joy.
Michael writes and Emily pens a long letter back sharing all the good news about these positive changes in her marriage: Ryan is communicating so much better, letting her have more free time, he took her out on their first romantic date, just the two of them, to Burger King! (how pathetic)
Yet, old habits are hard to break and Ryan regresses to his old selfish ways one evening in June as he's balancing the checkbook after dinner, unable to believe it costs this much to keep a family fed and sheltered. This starts an argument over past issues. Ryan takes another cheap shot at Emily who rebukes him, reminding him of her worth, she cooked his favorite meal tonight, and threatens to call Michael to come take her away, then where would Ryan be? He is speechless. Score one for Emily! Ryan is silent the rest of the evening.
Next day, Ryan comes home, thoughtful and full of plans to spend more time together as a family. He even stopped by the mall today to buy Emily a present, an Australian t-shirt as a "truce offering." Emily is thrilled and hugs him while a humble Ryan admits maybe it's time he made some changes like getting marriage counseling, renewing his recommend so he can attend the temple with her, planning a family trip later this summer. Emily's miracle has occurred. Her life is rich and full.
Emily and Ryan make love that night for the first time in ages. For Emily, this is like a second honeymoon. She's giggly and blushing at the breakfast table the next morning. She suggests an outing this weekend to celebrate Amee's birthday and Ryan agrees, except they'll have to do it tonight because tomorrow is Saturday and he's committed to an Elder's quorum project. He calls Emily on his lunch break, while Penny is over visiting, just to say he loves her, something he hasn't done since the first year of their marriage. Penny is happy for her friend. She will watch Alexa tonight so the rest of them can enjoy their after-dinner outing to get ice cream.
But Ryan never comes home that night.
The phone rings. Ryan Hall was involved in a fatal car accident-DUI-the other driver died on impact. We learn Ryan is 33 and when Emily arrives at the hospital, she witnesses a scene straight out of the TV show, ER, with all the chaos as Ryan's body is wheeled past her into the operating room; medical team fighting to keep him alive. A doctor appears to regretfully inform Emily that Ryan didn't make it, sorry.
The bishop and his wife enter and Emily collapses into their arms. She's barely aware of her friends making arrangements for Ryan's body, somebody driving her home and Penny tucking her into bed. Penny is there when she wakes up and resumes crying. Ryan's family has been notified and the Relief Society is taking care of everything. Allison enters the bedroom and Penny leaves mother and daughter to cry in each other's arms.
Chapter 11- True to Utah Mormon culture, the entire neighborhood ward rallies to help the newest widow and her three children with Penny at the center of it all, directing everything, because she's awesome.
After the funeral, Allison leaves with Ryan's mother for a visit to Idaho. Emily found peace and closure at the funeral but the grief is still fresh. Allison is also taking it hard and Emily hopes a visit with Ryan's side of the family will be a good experience for her daughter but she misses her company. Ryan's things are still scattered around, as if he never left. The house feels so empty. Emily sniffs Ryan's aftershave and the fragrance stays with her the rest of the day, a powerful reminder of her husband. She wears nothing but that Australian t-shirt now in remembrance of him and to help her fight this growing urge to contact Michael and inform him of this life-changing event. Unfortunately, Michael's latest letter contains great news, he met someone!
Emily turns to the growing pile of unopened bills which Ryan had always managed. Without his income, how are they going to survive? And how in the world did Ryan manage to rack up such massive credit card debt? Emily gets her answer when the doorbell rings. A polished, professional-looking woman she's never met, dressed to the nines, holding a box containing Ryan's personal belongings from his desk at work (we are never told what Ryan did for a living) and his last paycheck is standing on the threshold. Emily invites her in.
The woman brings the sympathies and condolences from everyone at the office who regarded Ryan Hall as their "unofficial workplace counselor" always happy to stay after hours talking to all the attractive, single, women about their personal problems and taking them out to lunch. Emily wonders which Ryan Hall she's talking about, but the woman is insistent. Everyone loved Ryan, in fact, the very day he was killed he had stayed late to talk to her about a personal problem.
The woman leaves and the realization sets in. Emily once asked Ryan to show her just where they stood financially but he refused to let her help manage the checkbook, what would an ignorant housewife know of such things? Now she understands. Ryan was hiding something from her. All that credit card debt accumulated from taking all his female colleagues out to lunch while she stayed at home, eating leftovers. Without even opening the box, Emily throws it against the wall and Penny enters to help her pick up the pieces of her broken heart. Penny also is quick to justify Emily's own unfaithfulness going out to lunch with Michael, not the same thing and maybe it's time she informed Michael of her new marital status but Emily can't, it's too late. Michael's already in a relationship.
Chapter 12- Emily refuses to open and read any more of Michael's letters. When a small parchment envelope arrives, Emily is so sure it's a wedding announcement she stuffs it in the same place as all the other ten unopened letters.
Now that so many weeks have passed since the funeral, real life is settling back into the Hall household. Allison starts a new school year but worries she's too poor now to be considered "cool" by her friends. She is withdrawn and depressed. Emily shares her financial concerns with Penny who can't do much except offer free babysitting if Emily needs to go flip burgers to keep the wolf away. Emily jokes her power might get shut off before she gets the chance. Ryan's mother calls to inform Emily her dearly departed husband never bothered to include his own wife on the mortgage papers. Mom-in-law cosigned instead which means she is now the rightful owner of the house and will graciously let Emily and her girls live there if Emily starts paying rent. Emily reports all of this to Penny.
While the two women are talking, Amee falls and hits her head. Penny drives them to the ER. Amee is fine but her cut needs stitches. Add one more bill to the growing pile. Emily runs some errands, including the bank to withdraw more precious cash from her dwindling savings account. To her surprise, a $1000 deposit was just made by a mysterious benefactor (see Chapter 5).
Next morning, Emily gets Allison off to school, puts on her freshly washed but fading, t-shirt and skips her morning shower because her two babies are extra fussy this morning and the house is a mess.
The doorbell rings while Emily is on the phone with a lawyer who can't do much to help the legal situation over the mortgage but never mind that right now because Michael Hamilton is standing on her front doorstep.
Chapter 13- He's just as handsome and rugged as when she last saw him. Wordlessly she motions him inside, finishes the call and begins picking up clutter to avoid talking to him. Michael asks after the shirt, he's glad to see she's still alive, he'd like to take her and her husband out to dinner tonight if that's possible.
Um, no it's not. Ryan's dead. In shock, Michael continues to follow Emily around the house as she explains how she's drowning in debt and about to lose her house. He makes her back up and give him all the details of how Ryan died. Emily puts her girls down for their naps then retreats to the kitchen to wash dishes while Michael follows, demanding to know why she didn't tell him. He loves her!
Emily starts to cry, again, but this time Michael can take her in his arms and comfort her. Emily suddenly declares she needs to shower. Michael offers to go pick up lunch and Subway is waiting when she gets out. They bless the food and are in the middle of eating when Penny calls inquiring after the strange car parked in Emily's driveway. Feeling the return of her old spunk, Emily gives a playful answer.
Chapter 14- Michael can't believe it's been three months since the accident and Emily never bothered to contact him. Her life is obviously falling apart but now he can do something. He's not wearing a wedding ring but Emily is still weary of accepting any financial help from him. Remembering that little envelope she never even bothered to open, she keeps quiet and never brings up the subject.
Michael suggests they all go shopping as Allison has been pestering Emily about buying the perfect birthday present for an upcoming party of the year for the most popular girl in class.
The little blended family has a great time at K-Mart where everyone, except Emily, is treated to new clothes and goodies. Because Michael is taking her out tonight, Emily flatly refuses to let Michael buy her anything.
On the date, Emily is sullen, quiet and snappish (because she's an idiot) still believing Michael is already committed to another woman and they are just wasting their time trying to rekindle the old flame; shielding herself behind her grief for Ryan as her excuse. She's a 33 year old widow who can't let go of the past.
Chapter 15- Michael plays "Same Old Lang Syne" by Dan Fogelberg (1980) on the car stereo for Emily but that only makes the tension worse and she shuts it off with an angry sob. This date is over. Michael takes her home, wondering maybe he should just back off and give her time.
Next morning, Michael goes over all the bills with Emily. He leaves to pay the ones he can until more money can be wired from Australia-the debts owing are that high. Emily admits she was about to break down and contact him for money; else start looking for a job.
The next day, Michael stops by to inform Emily he's taken care of everything, including the first month's rent to mom-in-law and a big, fat, deposit in her checking account to tide her over until she needs more. Since Emily has made it pretty clear she's long been desiring his absence, he's booking a flight back to Australia as soon as he can.
Penny comes over and chews Emily out for never clearing up Michael's current relationship status and letting him get away so easily. Emily realizes her friend is right. She still has feelings for Michael, it's only fair she demand he fast and pray about leaving his new girlfriend this time.
Emily finds Michael at his hotel and they return to the house where Penny has already put the babies down for their naps so they can talk. Michael makes Emily retrieve his unopened letters. Feeling very sheepish, Emily opens the parchment envelope and reads aloud the Hamilton family is proud to announce the centennial anniversary of their business. The LDS woman Michael met was a sweet spirit but there was no chemistry between them. Emily has always been his true love. Emily bursts into tears and falls into Michael's waiting arms. They share a passionate kiss.
Chapter 16- Penny is the world's greatest babysitter. Once again, she will handle everything at the house while Michael and Emily go out on another dinner date tonight.
They eat at a nice restaurant downtown near the Provo tabernacle (soon to be Provo City Center Temple in 2016) where they spent many happy dates together while attending BYU. During the meal, Michael proposes (for the third time) to Emily who, at long last, can readily and easily accept.
Then Michael announces to Emily the REAL reason he came to see her was to let her and Ryan know he'd finally joined the church. He was baptized last month and is ready to start a whole new life as husband, stepfather and patriarch in a Mormon home as a worthy priesthood holder.
Emily couldn't be happier. They kiss and it's a happy
THE END
Michael is also running late when Emily, out of breath, arrives at the mall bookstore. They begin walking and talking. No he's not married and not in a relationship at the moment. Emily Ladd is just as beautiful as she was ten years ago and Michael has questions he wants to ask her.
Chapter 4- Emily shows off wallets of her girls which she always carries in her purse. She mentions Penny, but falters when Michael brings up her relationship with her husband. The subject is changed to Michael's carefree, bachelor life. He envies her life, knowing a man at his age should be married with kids and settled down by now but since he's never met anyone to equal Emily, he stays busy traveling and running his family's ranch in the outback. Michael insists on taking Emily out to lunch (this mall has a JB's restaurant which is no longer there) and while they wait for their food, Michael asks Emily, point-blank, if she's happy? To his surprise, Emily bursts into tears and tells him everything. Michael is furious to learn that Ryan is a jerk who doesn't appreciate what a jewel he caught for a wife. If she'd married HIM...Emily sobs and sobs, beating herself up. Michael asks for the check and they leave their untouched meal. Outside, Michael desperately wants to take Emily in his arms but, as another man's wife, it is forbidden. So this is temple marriage. Was it worth it? For the first time, Emily turns off the tears and looks Michael straight in the eye. However dysfunctional, God approves of her marriage; it's helped her to grow. She's grateful to be a slave and a doormat, submitting herself cheerfully to such an emotionally abusive and unavailable man because she knows she'll be blessed for it (Kate Kelly begs to differ). Michael can only admire her modesty and strong, albeit sweet, spirit. What a woman!
Chapter 5- Michael asks for her address. Emily rips a deposit slip from the back of her checkbook to write on. Not wanting to part on such a depressing note, Michael suggests they wander around the mall. The next few hours fly by as they talk and laugh, window shopping and eating junk food. Michael wipes a smear of chocolate off Emily's mouth igniting strong feelings of their old attraction to each other.
Narration shifts to Michael's POV and he decides to try an experiment determining just how controlling her husband is and how starved she is for attention. Emily admires a pretty sweater but insists she doesn't really need (or deserve) it so Michael buys it for her. Miffed at his generosity, Emily walks away feeling like a charity case. Ryan provides, they have sufficient for their needs, he just won't let her spend any of his hard earned on herself. A sacrifice she's willing to make. Michael tells her she's worth more than all the million-dollar ranches in the world. Emily nearly cries at the compliment.
Michael and Emily manage to share a nice dinner together (which Michael also pays for) without any drama; making up for the disaster of lunch. Outside, Michael turns to Emily with a rather rash, preposterous, idea: Emily should bring the girls and run away with him, he'll take care of them all. Ryan'll get the idea in a week or two. But Emily wouldn't dream of breaking sacred temple covenants. Not to mention shaming the family with a divorce. Michael urges her to fast and pray about it. He'll return from his USA book tour in a few weeks for her answer.
He walks her to her car and inquires about her hobby of painting with oils which Emily confesses she regrets setting aside for the demands of family life. Since he took a cab to get to the mall this morning, Emily offers to drive him to his hotel. Michael comments on the fictional Australian rock band they both loved in college which Emily is currently
Chapter 6- It is after midnight when Emily finally returns home. She made a detour to sit in front of the Provo temple in her car and cry. Ryan turns as she climbs into bed, demanding to know where she's been. (Oh, you noticed?) Emily makes up an excuse about running into an old friend and losing track of time. Ryan just grunts and rolls back over.
Next day is Saturday. Emily feeds and dresses her girls and sends them off to play while Ryan sleeps late, as he usually does on weekends. Emily decides to
Determined not to let her husband's attitude bother her, Emily spends her day intermittently playing with her girls and reading Michael's first book, the one she should've read three years ago. Penny comes over and Emily proudly shows her the shopping bag with the sweater. She dumps it out and a rain of cash follows, the change from the $50 bill Michael used. Now she can buy groceries for her family today. A miracle. Emily breaks down crying, spilling everything to her best friend who thinks running away with Michael is a great idea, consequences of temple divorce notwithstanding.
That night, Ryan still hasn't returned from his activity with the guys. Not even a phone call. It is after midnight when his car pulls in and Emily is already in bed. He gives no explanation and Emily never asks. He wants to have sex but she turns her back on him and weeps silent tears.
Over the next few days, Emily tests Ryan by slacking off her usual household responsibilities, like not fixing breakfast, getting out her easel and paint supplies instead, leaving no time to prepare dinner. The house is a mess but Emily is realizing taking time for herself is a good thing.
Saturday arrives and she and Ryan engage in the biggest, loudest fight they've ever had in their marriage until Emily is so beaten down emotionally she finally suggests Ryan just divorce her or maybe he'll wake up one morning to find her gone, then where would he be? Expecting no answer, Emily goes straight to Penny's house to use her phone and make an appointment with her bishop tomorrow. She begins her THIRD fast since Michael asked her to run away with him. Divorce has never looked so good but until she gets a confirmation from the Lord, Emily's not going anywhere.
Emily confesses everything to her bishop who gives some excellent counsel and advice. Continue to do nice things for herself, care for her home and family's basic needs and to stop being so hard on herself so Ryan will wake up and realize what a choice eternal companion he's got. She requests a blessing and he gives her one. Emily leaves realizing the "Michael issue" was never acknowledged. Back at home, their 1pm church block start time allows Emily to shut herself in the bedroom for a lengthy prayer and time to pen a long letter of gentle rejection to Michael. She will stay with Ryan but changes are going to be made.
Chapter 7- The scene is a Las Vegas hotel room where Michael tosses and turns, unable to sleep. He recalls his first meeting with Emily and the incredible experience he had dating, courting and proposing marriage to her. Emily Ladd was, and always will be, his soul mate. Despite Emily's insistence that his non-membership status didn't matter to her, deep down, he knew, after returning from their trip to Australia, that Emily was going to reject him for a Mormon RM who could take her to the temple.
Sure enough, Emily showed up at his apartment, after her visit to Idaho, to announce, after much fasting and prayer she received her answer that marrying Ryan Hall was the right choice for her. I'm so sorry, Michael, but I'm off to plan my wedding now. Have a great life, bye!
For nearly a year, Michael spiraled down into deep, almost suicidal, depression. He returned home, unannounced, to the family ranch. His mother and younger sister demanding to know what happened. Why did he quit school? Where's Emily? Channeling Scarlett O'Hara, Michael hurls a vase and curses all Mormons and their temple marriage. Just thinking about another man sharing Emily's first time in bed is enough to make him wish he was a drinking and drug abusing man, but he's not. He can't even find himself a woman to hook up with to make Emily jealous because of his personal beliefs about pre-marital sex. He's the perfect Golden Investigator.
Spring arrives and Michael returns to America and BYU to finish his education. Ten years later, he's a successful writer, back in Provo for the first time since graduation as part of his publicity tour. All these years, the only thing that kept him going, was knowing Emily was happy in her Mormon marriage. Having Emily appear, like a vision, back in his life, was nothing short of a miracle. Until he learned the truth. Now his promotional tour is finished, he should give her a call. Maybe she's already made her decision.
Chapter 8- Emily answers the phone. Michael will be in Salt Lake on Monday. Aware of Ryan's presence in the room, Emily can't give Michael any hint as to what her answer will be but he's welcome to come by the house that morning. She hangs up and admits to Ryan that was her old college boyfriend on the phone but since Ryan doesn't ask for any details, she puts off telling him she's been seriously considering leaving him for another man.
Monday morning, Ryan leaves for work, oblivious to everything. Penny comes over to gossip and ends up being the one who answers the door to see Mr. Adorable holding a dozen red roses for Emily.
It doesn't take long for Michael to realize he's being rejected, again. Emily hands him the letter. (somebody should tell her about the social faux pas of breaking up by text) His suspicions are confirmed yet Emily is the one who is already crying. Michael rants and raves over her Mormon God who would play him like a fool. He NEVER got over her. He's still in love with her, doesn't that count for anything?
Emily realizes they need to clear the air on this issue about temple marriage. She gently suggests maybe this means it's time Michael create his LDS Singles account. Get over her, find someone else to go out with.
Michael responds by planting a great, big, passionate, kiss on her. Emily kisses him back before she sobs in the middle of it but refuses to apologize. It is her gift to him. The phone rings. It's Ryan who followed the strongest prompting he ever received in his life to call home, NOW. Emily reassures him everything is okay and, yes, they will definitely have a long talk when he gets home. She hangs up and goes back to making out with Michael. Just kidding. They share a platonic hug and apologize to each other.
Chapter 9- Penny enters the room to announce Ryan is home! Michael is taken aback, seeing Ryan Hall, in person; a handsome alpha-male with a commanding presence. No wonder Emily couldn't resist him.
Michael is very gallant, telling Ryan most of the story: he ran into Emily and asked her if she was happy. She said, no, and it's all your fault, (you a-hole!) because your wife is the most beautiful woman God ever created, yet she's chosen to stay faithful to her covenants so mind you treat her well from now on because I was going to be her knight in shining armor and carry her off into the sunset. Ryan is incredulous. Emily was really going to leave me? But...WHY? Emily tells him they'll talk later.
Emily and Michael say goodbye in front of Ryan. Emily promises to write and walks Michael out to his rental car where he kisses her hand and she kisses his cheek.
"Wow, who needs daytime TV?" Penny quips from her spot on the sofa. She makes a graceful exit so Emily and Ryan can have their first heart-to-heart in years. Ryan is a shaken man. He had no idea, until the spirit practically screamed at him to take an early lunch break and surprise Emily at home, that his marriage was in trouble; that his wife was once in love with another man.
Narration jumps to Michael's POV as he drives, aimlessly, around Provo until he passes the temple, pulls into the parking lot, succumbing to the bitterness. Three hours pass while he watches Mormons, dressed in their Sunday best, entering and exiting the sacred building. He gets out and walks around but when he returns to his car, it won't start. He enters the temple lobby to use the phone where a kindly temple worker greets him. None of the numbers he tries works. Still raw with the hurt of rejection, he goes back to his car which, almost miraculously, starts and Michael drives away, wondering if he's going crazy.
Chapter 10- Spring has sprung in Provo and life is improving for Emily who now takes time every day to paint. She openly wears the sweater Michael bought her which Ryan asks after. Emily frankly tells him where she got it. Ryan can only stare blankly at her unable to fathom what she sees in Michael Hamilton? "He makes me feel my worth," she says. Instead of getting defensive, Ryan asks Emily for deeper insight and she is happy to tell him the story of how she and Michael first met and how in love they were. Ryan admits he may have been wrong to ignore her all these years and the very next Sunday, he attends church for the first time in years. Emily almost weeps for joy.
Michael writes and Emily pens a long letter back sharing all the good news about these positive changes in her marriage: Ryan is communicating so much better, letting her have more free time, he took her out on their first romantic date, just the two of them, to Burger King! (how pathetic)
Yet, old habits are hard to break and Ryan regresses to his old selfish ways one evening in June as he's balancing the checkbook after dinner, unable to believe it costs this much to keep a family fed and sheltered. This starts an argument over past issues. Ryan takes another cheap shot at Emily who rebukes him, reminding him of her worth, she cooked his favorite meal tonight, and threatens to call Michael to come take her away, then where would Ryan be? He is speechless. Score one for Emily! Ryan is silent the rest of the evening.
Next day, Ryan comes home, thoughtful and full of plans to spend more time together as a family. He even stopped by the mall today to buy Emily a present, an Australian t-shirt as a "truce offering." Emily is thrilled and hugs him while a humble Ryan admits maybe it's time he made some changes like getting marriage counseling, renewing his recommend so he can attend the temple with her, planning a family trip later this summer. Emily's miracle has occurred. Her life is rich and full.
Emily and Ryan make love that night for the first time in ages. For Emily, this is like a second honeymoon. She's giggly and blushing at the breakfast table the next morning. She suggests an outing this weekend to celebrate Amee's birthday and Ryan agrees, except they'll have to do it tonight because tomorrow is Saturday and he's committed to an Elder's quorum project. He calls Emily on his lunch break, while Penny is over visiting, just to say he loves her, something he hasn't done since the first year of their marriage. Penny is happy for her friend. She will watch Alexa tonight so the rest of them can enjoy their after-dinner outing to get ice cream.
But Ryan never comes home that night.
The phone rings. Ryan Hall was involved in a fatal car accident-DUI-the other driver died on impact. We learn Ryan is 33 and when Emily arrives at the hospital, she witnesses a scene straight out of the TV show, ER, with all the chaos as Ryan's body is wheeled past her into the operating room; medical team fighting to keep him alive. A doctor appears to regretfully inform Emily that Ryan didn't make it, sorry.
The bishop and his wife enter and Emily collapses into their arms. She's barely aware of her friends making arrangements for Ryan's body, somebody driving her home and Penny tucking her into bed. Penny is there when she wakes up and resumes crying. Ryan's family has been notified and the Relief Society is taking care of everything. Allison enters the bedroom and Penny leaves mother and daughter to cry in each other's arms.
Chapter 11- True to Utah Mormon culture, the entire neighborhood ward rallies to help the newest widow and her three children with Penny at the center of it all, directing everything, because she's awesome.
After the funeral, Allison leaves with Ryan's mother for a visit to Idaho. Emily found peace and closure at the funeral but the grief is still fresh. Allison is also taking it hard and Emily hopes a visit with Ryan's side of the family will be a good experience for her daughter but she misses her company. Ryan's things are still scattered around, as if he never left. The house feels so empty. Emily sniffs Ryan's aftershave and the fragrance stays with her the rest of the day, a powerful reminder of her husband. She wears nothing but that Australian t-shirt now in remembrance of him and to help her fight this growing urge to contact Michael and inform him of this life-changing event. Unfortunately, Michael's latest letter contains great news, he met someone!
Emily turns to the growing pile of unopened bills which Ryan had always managed. Without his income, how are they going to survive? And how in the world did Ryan manage to rack up such massive credit card debt? Emily gets her answer when the doorbell rings. A polished, professional-looking woman she's never met, dressed to the nines, holding a box containing Ryan's personal belongings from his desk at work (we are never told what Ryan did for a living) and his last paycheck is standing on the threshold. Emily invites her in.
The woman brings the sympathies and condolences from everyone at the office who regarded Ryan Hall as their "unofficial workplace counselor" always happy to stay after hours talking to all the attractive, single, women about their personal problems and taking them out to lunch. Emily wonders which Ryan Hall she's talking about, but the woman is insistent. Everyone loved Ryan, in fact, the very day he was killed he had stayed late to talk to her about a personal problem.
The woman leaves and the realization sets in. Emily once asked Ryan to show her just where they stood financially but he refused to let her help manage the checkbook, what would an ignorant housewife know of such things? Now she understands. Ryan was hiding something from her. All that credit card debt accumulated from taking all his female colleagues out to lunch while she stayed at home, eating leftovers. Without even opening the box, Emily throws it against the wall and Penny enters to help her pick up the pieces of her broken heart. Penny also is quick to justify Emily's own unfaithfulness going out to lunch with Michael, not the same thing and maybe it's time she informed Michael of her new marital status but Emily can't, it's too late. Michael's already in a relationship.
Chapter 12- Emily refuses to open and read any more of Michael's letters. When a small parchment envelope arrives, Emily is so sure it's a wedding announcement she stuffs it in the same place as all the other ten unopened letters.
Now that so many weeks have passed since the funeral, real life is settling back into the Hall household. Allison starts a new school year but worries she's too poor now to be considered "cool" by her friends. She is withdrawn and depressed. Emily shares her financial concerns with Penny who can't do much except offer free babysitting if Emily needs to go flip burgers to keep the wolf away. Emily jokes her power might get shut off before she gets the chance. Ryan's mother calls to inform Emily her dearly departed husband never bothered to include his own wife on the mortgage papers. Mom-in-law cosigned instead which means she is now the rightful owner of the house and will graciously let Emily and her girls live there if Emily starts paying rent. Emily reports all of this to Penny.
While the two women are talking, Amee falls and hits her head. Penny drives them to the ER. Amee is fine but her cut needs stitches. Add one more bill to the growing pile. Emily runs some errands, including the bank to withdraw more precious cash from her dwindling savings account. To her surprise, a $1000 deposit was just made by a mysterious benefactor (see Chapter 5).
Next morning, Emily gets Allison off to school, puts on her freshly washed but fading, t-shirt and skips her morning shower because her two babies are extra fussy this morning and the house is a mess.
The doorbell rings while Emily is on the phone with a lawyer who can't do much to help the legal situation over the mortgage but never mind that right now because Michael Hamilton is standing on her front doorstep.
Chapter 13- He's just as handsome and rugged as when she last saw him. Wordlessly she motions him inside, finishes the call and begins picking up clutter to avoid talking to him. Michael asks after the shirt, he's glad to see she's still alive, he'd like to take her and her husband out to dinner tonight if that's possible.
Um, no it's not. Ryan's dead. In shock, Michael continues to follow Emily around the house as she explains how she's drowning in debt and about to lose her house. He makes her back up and give him all the details of how Ryan died. Emily puts her girls down for their naps then retreats to the kitchen to wash dishes while Michael follows, demanding to know why she didn't tell him. He loves her!
Emily starts to cry, again, but this time Michael can take her in his arms and comfort her. Emily suddenly declares she needs to shower. Michael offers to go pick up lunch and Subway is waiting when she gets out. They bless the food and are in the middle of eating when Penny calls inquiring after the strange car parked in Emily's driveway. Feeling the return of her old spunk, Emily gives a playful answer.
Chapter 14- Michael can't believe it's been three months since the accident and Emily never bothered to contact him. Her life is obviously falling apart but now he can do something. He's not wearing a wedding ring but Emily is still weary of accepting any financial help from him. Remembering that little envelope she never even bothered to open, she keeps quiet and never brings up the subject.
Michael suggests they all go shopping as Allison has been pestering Emily about buying the perfect birthday present for an upcoming party of the year for the most popular girl in class.
The little blended family has a great time at K-Mart where everyone, except Emily, is treated to new clothes and goodies. Because Michael is taking her out tonight, Emily flatly refuses to let Michael buy her anything.
On the date, Emily is sullen, quiet and snappish (because she's an idiot) still believing Michael is already committed to another woman and they are just wasting their time trying to rekindle the old flame; shielding herself behind her grief for Ryan as her excuse. She's a 33 year old widow who can't let go of the past.
Chapter 15- Michael plays "Same Old Lang Syne" by Dan Fogelberg (1980) on the car stereo for Emily but that only makes the tension worse and she shuts it off with an angry sob. This date is over. Michael takes her home, wondering maybe he should just back off and give her time.
Next morning, Michael goes over all the bills with Emily. He leaves to pay the ones he can until more money can be wired from Australia-the debts owing are that high. Emily admits she was about to break down and contact him for money; else start looking for a job.
The next day, Michael stops by to inform Emily he's taken care of everything, including the first month's rent to mom-in-law and a big, fat, deposit in her checking account to tide her over until she needs more. Since Emily has made it pretty clear she's long been desiring his absence, he's booking a flight back to Australia as soon as he can.
Penny comes over and chews Emily out for never clearing up Michael's current relationship status and letting him get away so easily. Emily realizes her friend is right. She still has feelings for Michael, it's only fair she demand he fast and pray about leaving his new girlfriend this time.
Emily finds Michael at his hotel and they return to the house where Penny has already put the babies down for their naps so they can talk. Michael makes Emily retrieve his unopened letters. Feeling very sheepish, Emily opens the parchment envelope and reads aloud the Hamilton family is proud to announce the centennial anniversary of their business. The LDS woman Michael met was a sweet spirit but there was no chemistry between them. Emily has always been his true love. Emily bursts into tears and falls into Michael's waiting arms. They share a passionate kiss.
Chapter 16- Penny is the world's greatest babysitter. Once again, she will handle everything at the house while Michael and Emily go out on another dinner date tonight.
They eat at a nice restaurant downtown near the Provo tabernacle (soon to be Provo City Center Temple in 2016) where they spent many happy dates together while attending BYU. During the meal, Michael proposes (for the third time) to Emily who, at long last, can readily and easily accept.
Then Michael announces to Emily the REAL reason he came to see her was to let her and Ryan know he'd finally joined the church. He was baptized last month and is ready to start a whole new life as husband, stepfather and patriarch in a Mormon home as a worthy priesthood holder.
Emily couldn't be happier. They kiss and it's a happy
THE END
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